Hilliard TaeKwonDo America: Self defense instruction in Hilliard, Ohio.

Tips for self-defense and dealing with bullies

Even though martial arts may seem like a violent sport because we learn how to kick and punch to defend ourselves, our goal is always to have a peaceful end to a situation. We learn sparring techniques with the hope that we never need to use those skills outside of martial arts training and competitions. Children and adults involved in martial arts are less aggressive and more self-confident, they become healthier and stronger, and are less likely to be a victim.

DEALING WITH BULLIES

Who is a bully?

A bully is someone who picks on others regularly. A bully may use very subtle methods such as teasing others about their weight, height, skin color, clothing, and physical abilities. Or a bully may use more overt methods such as intimidating body language, pushing, hitting or shoving. Bullies can be the kid down the street or in a different grade at school. Or a bully can be your brother or sister, or your “best friend” … or even you may be a bully. If you say things that hurt others feelings and you find yourself often responding with “What’s your problem?! I was just kidding!” or “Can’t you take a joke?!” or “You are too sensitive!” then you may be a bully.

Why do kids bully?

Statistics vary on why kids bully one another. Depending on which report and whose statistics you find, you may read that bullies bully because:

- They don’t feel good about themselves and want others to feel even worse than they do

- A bully picked on them and they want to pass it along to someone else

- They learned the behavior at home

- They want to be the center of attention

We don’t know if any of those are the real reasons kids bully. But we do know that self-confident kids who learn how to defend themselves are less likely to be the targets of bullies and are better able to take care of themselves if they do get picked on.

Tips for dealing with bullies

Telling someone about a bully and “tattling” are not the same things. Tattling is when you tell on someone just because you want to get him/her in trouble. Bullies hurt people and you need to help stop that. Tell a trusted adult about the bully, whether the bully is picking on you or someone else.

Always have a group of friends with you. Sometimes bullies act alone and sometimes bullies have their own group of bully-friends. But a bully is less likely to take on a group. A bully wants to have one victim to pick on. A bully doesn’t want witnesses who will step in and stop the bullying and who will tell adults what they saw.

Avoid walking past places where you know a bully hangs out if possible. Of course, that’s hard to do if they go to your school.

Use words to try to disarm the situation. Do not respond to a bully’s verbal attack with physical violence.

When you respond to a verbal attack by a bully put your open hands up with finger pointing up and palms toward the bully and say something like “Back off.” Do not make your hands into fists because it may provoke the bully to hit you and to witnesses it may look like you started the fight.

If a bully does hit or push you, use only enough physical force to stop the attack. If a bully hits you and you block the punch and push the bully away and the bully stops picking on you, if you chase the bully and start punching and kicking him/her, you will end up being the one who gets into trouble.

If you see someone being bullied, step in and help the victim.

Eat healthy foods and get regular exercise. The healthier you are the better you will be able to deal with a bully.

SELF-DEFENSE AND SAFETY TIPS:
	Trust Your Instincts
	Women especially are often raised to not hurt anyone's feelings, to never embarrass anyone no matter how inappropriately they behave, to always use a quiet "ladylike" voice, and to put other people's needs and wants before our own. Attackers know this and play on it to get you to cooperate. There are usually clues that our subconscious picks up on, so:
	- - - - -	If you don't feel safe, you probably aren't. If you feel this person isn't trustworthy, they probably aren't. If you feel afraid of them there is probably a reason. A "successful" attacker is going to be one who looks "safe". We tell our children not to go with a stranger who askes them for help; we need to heed our own advice.
	Know Your Environment
	Be aware of who is around you, who is walking toward you, where your car is, where the lights are, where the police station is, what you have that can be used as a weapon, etc.
	Have A Plan
	As soon as you are aware that you do not feel safe, decide what you are going to do to get out of the situation now, or what you will do if it gets worse:
	- - - - -	Try to defuse the situation, not escalate it. Be assertive, not aggressive. What do you have that you can use as a weapon? Where can you go to get out of this situation? If they grab you, how can you get free? If you get free, where will you run?
	If you retaliate, you need to follow through or you will anger your attacker.
	To Fight or Not
	No one can tell you what to do in every situation. Only you can make that decision at the time if something happens, but things to think about:
	- - - - - -	Is there only one attacker? Does that attacker have a weapon? What will happen if I don't fight? If the attacker has a weapon, why would I believe that they will not use it if I "cooperate"? If the attacker says they will not hurt me if I just get in the car, why should I believe them? Why would the attacker want to get me away from this spot?

Frequently Asked Questions about our self-defense classes:
1. How will this differ from a taekwondo class?
	This will be less formal than our regular taekwondo classes. In taekwondo we learn patterns of moves, focus on sparring skills and develop wood breaking techniques, all designed to help us defend ourselves better through the repetition and practice that comes with regular workouts. In this self-defense class we will teach just a few basic techniques with partners and soft targets that can help give you an edge in a difficult situation.
3. Do I need to buy a karate outfit for this?
	Nope! In fact we’d prefer you didn’t. Just wear comfortable loose-fitting clothing such as shorts or sweat pants and a short-sleeved t-shirt. You won’t need your shoes during the class either. While the class won’t be strenuous, you can bring a water bottle if you like.
4. Will we meditate and do alot of bowing?
	Nope! There is no meditation or religious philosophy associated with the Taekwondo America program. While there are formalities associated with our taekwondo program such as answering each set of instructions promptly with "Yes, Sir!” or “Yes, ma’am!” and the courtesies of bowing to your partner and shaking their hand, this self-defense class will be less formal. However, the more promptly everyone responds to instructions, the more we can accomplish during this class.
5. Are you trying to get me to sign up for classes?
	Well, of course we’d love you to sign up for classes, because we love taekwondo and think it’s a great all ‘round strength training/cardio workout and self-defense program, is great for the whole family, plus a good way to make new friends, but we don’t want any student we have to strong-arm or trick into signing up. On the other hand, if you enjoy the self-defense class and think you might like taekwondo, we urge you to try one of our adult taekwondo classes for free.